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Ten Ways to spot Common People

Being common is not dependent on wealth, intelligence, class, background or race. It's more of a statement of how you view your life and others. This website is well known for being controversial and thought-provoking so if you're offended by this page, perhaps you see some of your own traits here. Instead of ranting and raving about it, why not try to improve yourself. You know it makes sense! :-)
Please feel free to suggest your own comments.

A famous song on this topic is "Common People" by the pop group Pulp. However, they miss the point entirely because being common is not about money or upbringing. It's about your attitude to life - and that doesn't cost anything!

1. Speaking loudly/shouting in public
Common people often like the sound of their own voices, often wasting no time in using their ego to loudly tell their friends/neighbours/acquaintances idle gossip, rumour and inconsequential chit-chat. They're often guilty of shouting at children in public or yelling down the street at their (equally common) mate.

2. Swearing/using profanity
Using profanity is generally the sign of an idle mind and limited vocabulary. Common people often resort to profanity when cornered by a lack of eloquent retort to a troublesome disagreement or conversation. Some even combine with shouting in public in the mistaken concept of impressing their friends/shocking public onlookers. Of course, those same onlookers probably think they're an ignorant common person - and they'd be right!

3. Dropping litter/cigarette butts/gum
Common people are notoriously lazy and can't be bothered to find a nearby litter bin, instead resorting to flicking sweet papers or cigarette butts on the pavement or out of a car window. This is a demonstration that they have no respect for their surroundings and is probably a sign that they never vacuum clean their house and probably have little or no personal hygiene.

4. Eating with their mouths open
Another sign of laziness, coupled with an arrogance. Some, extremely common people, combine this with points 1 and 2 for extra effect. These people are best avoided as they serve no purpose in polite society.

5. Being fat and pushing a pram
Why do these two seem to go hand in hand? I've nothing against fat people, or people with prams for that matter - but the two elements seem to combine to form a 'common' mixture. The worst offenders are those who decide to go shopping during peak times and have no regard for other shoppers and people's ankles. Quite often guilty of point 1.

6. Being a football fan
Say no more!

7. Drinking to excess
Common people seem to be unable to control their alcohol intake and this usually contributes to points 1 and 2, and mixing with 6 can usually contribute to a dangerous mixture. Level of imbibing capability is usually inversely proportional to intellectual capacity when sober.

8. Shopping in cheapo stores/having low standards
I wasn't going to mention anything about wearing 'no name' shell-suits (ooops I just did!) but common people usually have no concept of basic standards of acceptability. Shopping in Lidl, Matalan or Asda may be ok for the odd emergency (although I can't really forgive people for going into Lidl) but common people seem to to their buy their entire larder, wardrobe and furnishings from these low-end stores.
Half a gallon of no-name washing up liquid equals one drop of Fairy Liquid and Andrex toilet tissue lasts 10 times longer than those pathetic no-name brands - apart from the frustration of trying to tear off sheets without pulling it all apart or getting the serrations out of sequence! You know it makes sense!

9. Being unkempt/unpresentable
Why are common people incapable of brushing their hair, ironing or (come to that) actually washing when they get up in the morning or get back from work? There's no excuse for this, other than laziness!

10. Having the wrong attitude to life
Common people seem to be stuck in that 'poor me' mindset. People who think this way, generally end up creating that reality, so there seems to be no end to their sorry, insignificant, snivelling existence. Think positive, act positive and live positive. Think of the world around you. Other people do actually exist, so you don't need to swim in your own ego all the time.

So.... Is this page a wind-up or am I being honest? I'll let you decide..... :-)


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Last edit: 2nd Apr 2008 at 8:50am (37 days ago)

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